


wips in progress

by auto



Category: K-pop, VIXX
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21811891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auto/pseuds/auto
Summary: ///





	1. the most beautiful way to break

“What is it about me?”

Glass shatters on the far wall.

“What is it about me that makes it so easy to love me in the wrong way?”

The wallpaper is peeling.

“In a way that hurts?”

The room is spinning.

“EVERYTHING hurts. Every fucking thing!”

Hongbin’s hands are on either side of his head, his only grasp on reality the greasy tufts of his own hair being yanked between his shaking fingers.

He looks down, struggling to fathom the echoes of the situation he’s in. The carpet is gray and dirty, frayed and stained in places. The mark of an old house, the mark of a worn floor. All around him, there are bits of debris scattered. Fragments of glass and plastic litter the floor, parts of a phone.

“My mind is a glass case and I am entombed in it. I don’t control me, the disorder does, and I have to just sit and watch it wreck me from the outside in.”

He leans forward and looks into the broken shards of his phone, catching a glimpse of his own tear-soaked face.

There was no Hyuk, no Taekwoon.

There was only himself.


	2. Chapter 2

The most beautiful way to break, the way that hurts the sweetest, has always been to not go it alone. Hongbin learned quite early on that that was the case, that shaking hands and tear-rimmed eyes were an art instead of a tragedy if they were presented before an audience. Instead of applause, he received sympathy, and soon he began to distance himself from his own emotions. He learned to watch the worst things he’s ever felt, to be a spectator in his own downfall.

There was something so romantic about being held by someone as he broke down; poetic instead of pathetic. This was especially important when he was long-distance with Taekwoon, as his crumbling resolve only served to make his life more dramatic and less schematic, the longer the two spent apart.

Reality became theatre; more mess and less lucid. As time passed, Hongbin found himself more and more distant from his own relationship – and his feelings for Taekwoon. His image of the boy slowly reduced itself to a razor blade, sharp and two-dimensional. Painful to think about, and yet lacking substance. Taekwoon was no longer the deuteragonist in Hongbin’s story, but rather a concept, an idea. He was the cause of so much of Hongbin’s pain, and despite being aware of his boyfriend’s struggles, Taekwoon was too far away to really do much to help him. He became a background character in his life, and soon he’d left behind naught but a shadow.

However, Hongbin was not a solitary creature – no, not at all – and if there was a smear of darkness left in his life by the love of his life, then he sought desperately to enlighten it with another presence.

Enter Hyuk.  



	3. the business of misery

when the business of kai’s daily life ravels closed in the night, after tour sets and dance practices and team meetings, he often finds his mind stumbling. it goes drunkenly from thought to thought, wandering in search of meaning. this endeavor had proven itself fruitless long ago, and yet kai continued to dig the pit of despair he’d sown for himself. thinking was a great escape, he knew, but it could (and had consistently proved to) be an easy way to drown in himself. the line between ‘fine’ and ‘overthinking’ was so thin he often didn’t realize he’d crossed it until he found himself in bed, a blister-pack of diazepam laying on the pillow next to him as he hid up to his shoulders in duvet and struggled to breathe.

this was one of those times, he realized, as he sat hunched over his own shadow with a tissue in hand. the tissue was dry, but his thoughts had already taken a turn for the worse, and the pricking sensation in his eyes gave him a premonition that he would need it soon. when kai got like this, the thing that propelled him into darkness was the inanity of his reasons for upset: where others were shedding tears over tragedy and loss in their lives— real, valid things that pulled at his heart strings just to think about – he found himself gasping for air and clutching at stars for the simple reason that he was lonely. and he of all people should not be feeling that way.

as if on cue, his phone pinged with a message and the screen lit up like the heavens were inside it. he found himself instinctively grabbing at it to check it – desperate for that spike of dopamine that would stave off the impending mental breakdown for mere moments more. when he unlocked his phone, the message was revealed to be an automated send from his cell provider. it was as if the fates were laughing at him from their pedestals in another dimension. the longer he stared at it, the more he felt the world begin to melt: not in an obvious way, like it was being shattered by a tsunami; but in a subtle, creeping way, with edges blurring into each other like wet paper. the longer he stared at it, the more distant he felt, until soon he had no feeling in his hand at all.

and it was this, kai thought, that was the worst: the painless feeling of his soul peeling away from his tangible body and floating away somewhere else, somewhere he didn’t know. he felt so far away, and yet so unaware of it. the phone had fallen out of his hand and onto the soft bed-cover at some point, but the concept of time had become just that (theoretical) at some point between ‘now’ and when he had checked that message, so he wasn’t sure how long he’d been staring at the off-white paint on the walls.

he felt that his soul had been touched by the devil as it had escaped from the chambers of the ether, because ever since he was a child, he’d known something was wrong with him. since he was young, there was a prismatic, polygonal problem that had permeated his personality and polluted his personal life. the problem had crept up on him, with sharp edges gently prodding when he was young, then gutting him open and bloody by the time he had reached his twenties.

he saw it this way: groups of humans worked together to solve puzzles. each human had its own unique shape, and after some arbitrary time, it was simple enough to find fellow humans whose shapes complimented yours. find enough people who fit together, and you have an image of a thriving community – whether it was something as small as a kindergarten class or as large as the entire freshman year of a university, people always found their way together.

kai sometimes felt like the ghost of a puzzle piece: he could often tell, after being in a system for long enough, what shape he was meant to take – what gaps he was meant to fill. he would do his best to fill those gaps, but sometimes there was too much of him in the wrong place, or too little of him in the wrong place. he always misjudged himself, and it put people off. from kindergarden, when he assumed he was friends with someone just because he’d lent them a pencil, all the way until college when he still did the same exact thing, he always assumed. and wherever he assumed, there were mistakes. kai was just disappointed it took so long to realize that the mistake was him.


	4. schism inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it felt like the walls were melting. he was melting, and sinking into himself. through himself.
> 
> hongbin gulps. he knows he's going to watch the relationship go under before he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is something that hurts me a lot

"you know," hongbin starts after a moment of silence, his eyes rimmed with tears. taekwoon perks up at the sound of his boyfriend's voice, looks elated that hongbin is finally expressing his feelings after shutting down mid-conversation an hour ago. 

"i want to go home." hongbin looks up just in time to catch taekwoon's hopeful gaze soften with confusion. 

"what do you mean? we're home." 

"no." hongbin laughs bitterly, the sound crackling like a fire. "i want to be back in Korea." 

taekwoons face deflates just a little bit more, and something vulnerable and evil inside hongbin grins with two rows of teeth. finally, a reaction. 

"you really have some fucking nerve, taekwoon." hongbin doesn't realize he's stood off the bed that he and taekwoon have shared for the past few days until he's striding across the room, a very clear goal in mind. 

"what do you--" 

"telling me you'd rather live alone in this ratty apartment than move in with me in my own house." talking over him feels so good. 

"i told you, hongbin, i don't think that's a good idea." he doesn't need to turn around to see taekwoon is frowning. he can feel taekwoon's unease at not knowing where hongbin is going with his thought process. 

hongbin finds himself squatting in front of the sketchbook of portraits that he'd given taekwoon for his birthday. some pages contained poems, some contained photos, but most contained portraits of taekwoon drawn in charcoal or pastel. he traced his fingers down the spiral spine of the book. 

"we've been dating for two years," he murmurs, picking the book up from the desk it's rested on. half of that time had been spent making this book for taekwoon. "and you'd rather live in a studio apartment in the shittiest part of town than in my spare bedroom." 

"we've already discussed this. it's too soon. i don't know what you're expecting me to say." 

there are tears trailing down hongbin's face. he opens the book to the last page: it's covered top to bottom in a saccarine poem about love-- about THEIR love, like it was something special. like it was real. a quick scan of the words in the book reminded hongbin of how cliche his emotions were -- even with all the effort he'd put into it, the words on the page were tired at best. 

hongbin trails his fingers down the edge of the page slowly. 

"it's just weird to me that you said you'd never live in this part of town, that you'd rather die than live somewhere like this, and yet here you are." 

"i had no choice." 

hongbin pauses for a moment, considering taekwoon's words, considering his own shaking fingers. 

_rip._

the paper falls to the floor in a flurry of white confetti. 

"hongbin, what the fuck?" taekwoon's normally soft voice is loud and clear with panic. 

"what's the problem?" hongbin asks sweetly, not turning around to look at him. "it's not like any of this means anything to you." he's hearing his own voice from underwater. 

_rip._

"stop it!" 

the pained pitching of taekwoon's voice pleases hongbin in a sick, twisted way. if this was the only way he could feel valued by his boyfriend, he'd take it. 

_rip._

he continues to destroy everything in the sketchbook, tearing apart page after page, the haze of his rage blocking taekwoon's outraged screams, even as the screams turn to begging. 

"hongbin, please stop!" 

the book was just words. didn't taekwoon know words meant nothing? for instance: 

"i thought you were the one, taekwoon." he pauses his destruction just long enough to look up at his boyfriend, long enough to register his uneasy eyes. 

"but you and your fucking boundaries-- can we call them boundaries if they don't make any fucking sense?" he pauses for a moment, as if in thought. 

"have made me realize you're not the strong man i thought you were. the perfect man i thought you were." hongbin rips out another page, and taekwoon is too in shock to flinch at the sound. 

"but you're not perfect. not even close. you're not strong, or loving, or compassionate." 

_rip._

"you're a fucking coward, taekwoon."

  
taekwoon has tears shining down his face. hongbin isn't surprised. after all, this is exactly what he knew would happen. taekwoon couldn't handle the truth. 

"since day one, i have thrown my heart and soul into this. i have loved you without caution and without withholding myself." hongbin lets the scrapbook fall into the desk he'd grabbed it from, and a corner of it lands in a pot of water that he'd left out from the last time he was painting. 

"i understand not everyone is so easily emotionally vulnerable. but after two years together, i thought you would have at least rathered live with me than in somewhere like this." he watches the book as ink bleeds through the pages, stains crawling wetly across the book and marring one year of work. he'd given this to taekwoon on his birthday. 

"i thought you would have loved me enough to consider it. but you have always had walls around you. it's as if you don't expect this to last." 

tears drip onto the book's cover as he watches it. 

"i don't understand, taekwoon -- you even mentioned in the past living together would be a good idea. but you changed your mind? do you not love me anymore?" the last question is where hongbin's voice breaks, and he whimpers at his own words -- terrified of taekwoon's answer. 

hongbin hears taekwoon take in a breath. 

"i love you. and i never wanted to hurt you." 

white-hot rage boils over hongbin, setting him ablaze. he can't see through the mist of fire. 

"but i see you don't have the same intentions." that made hongbin perk up. what had he just said? 

hongbin turns around sharply, an aggressive retort already on the tip of his tongue. but taekwoon barrels on. 

"you destroyed something that you spent unfathomable time making all because you knew it would hurt me." 

"im sure you're not upset about it." hongbin bites back, but an uneasiness has begun to pool in his stomach. 

"that was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me. and you ruined it because you couldn't accept my boundaries." 

the walls slowly began melting. hongbin felt like he'd been picked up and dumped onto the ground face-first. he opened his mouth to reply, but still taekwoon continued. 

"i never expected you to do something like this -- to overreact like this." taekwoon's tone is cold. "you are so willing to hurt me in your anger that you would destroy something that meant the world to me. something you can't replace." 

at the last three words, hongbin starts crying again. suddenly the weight of his actions hit him -- he'd invested over a hundred hours drawing and writing in that book. there was no way he would be able to make another one. 

a small voice in hongbin's mind whispers that taekwoon didn't deserve the book anyway, that he wasn't worth his time. 

"you are trying to hurt me to get me to do what you want. that is disgusting, hongbin." disgusting. the word bounces around hongbin's brain until it loses its meaning, and when hongbin looks over at the drenched book, all he can think is that it looks dirty. when he looks down at his own hands, he thinks the same thing. 

"im not your toy to manipulate as you please." he finds himself shrinking the more that taekwoon talks. 

"if i don't want to live with you then you can rip up all the gifts you've ever given me but im STILL NOT GOING TO LIVE WITH YOU." when taekwoon raises his voice, hongbin can't help but whimper. he'd never heard him this angry before. 

"ive never seen you like this before.." hongbin whispers. he feels like he's been thrown off his feet, dizzy on the ground. had he made a mistake? he couldn't tell, he wasn't even sure what was going on through the haze of his emotions. the dying mist of his anger, and the rising fog of his despair. he suddenly felt thousands of miles away from himself. 

"maybe i should have been this angry sooner. i can't believe you, hongbin. you seriously need to work on yourself." 

taekwoon got up and crossed the room. hongbin braced himself, expecting the man to shout in his face or even to hit him. he would surely deserve it.

  
but instead, taekwoon walked smoothly past him and retrieved the soiled book. wordlessly, he collected the torn up pages on the floor, and he turned back to hongbin. 

"i will message you later. when i am ready. but in the meantime, i want you to think about what has happened. i want you to really think about why you were angry at me and i want you to decide if what you have done is right or wrong." 

"taekwoon, i--" 

"ill see you later." 

when the door to his bedroom closes, hongbin finds himself collapsing in bed. he doesn't cry, he doesn't think. he just is. and eventually, he falls asleep to the sound of the silence in his mind.


	5. inhale. hold it. don't let go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hongbin whimpers, his body small in taekwoons overcoat. thin strips of light stripe his face-- a consequence of the blinds that formed the barrier between "taekwoon's closet" and "taekwoon's room". the larger boy had no idea hongbin was here, and he had been searching for him for the past half hour. through the cracks of the blinds, hongbin could see taekwoon looking around dazedly, arms on his head. hongbin hadn't even mentioned to taekwoon that he would be disappearing-- but then again, something as unforgiving and cruel as a panic attack doesn't have time to spare warnings before it comes. it just does.

hongbin whimpers, his body small in taekwoons overcoat.

thin strips of light stripe his face-- a consequence of the blinds that formed the barrier between "taekwoon's closet" and "taekwoon's room". the larger boy had no idea hongbin was here, and he had been searching for him for the past half hour. through the cracks of the blinds, hongbin could see taekwoon looking around dazedly, arms on his head.

hongbin hadn't even mentioned to taekwoon that he would be disappearing-- but then again, something as unforgiving and cruel as a panic attack doesn't have time to spare warnings before it comes. it just does.


	6. killing me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> juketa

hanbin's sat at his desk, working. his room is empty save for the dying flicker of the candle june got him and the bleary glow of his double monitors. he stares weakly into the light of the screens, eyes straining to comprehend what he's looking at. the strings, the notes, the numbers. music is math-- and he's too tired to compute. 

he watches as the hour hand of the clock sat by his monitors ticks over to "8" at the same time that donghyuk walks into the room. he doesn't knock-- he never knocks. hanbin ignores the flare of white hot rage that washes over his body at the intrusion. the younger opens his mouth to speak, but hanbin beats him to the punch. 

"what do you want?" 

no sleep combined with the shit par music he's making makes him irritable. yeah, that must be it-- he's irritable because he's tired. 

"i just wanted to know if you wanted breakfast." donghyuk answers gently, patronizingly, like HE'S the leader of this group. like hanbin is a problem child that he has to babysit. he sits up straighter in his chair, and the muscles in his back and shoulders pull over his skin like rubber. slow, agonizing. 

"no, im good." hanbin bites back. he hasn't eaten anything more than a bowl of rice in almost three days. no time to eat when they're so close. 

instead of replying, donghyuk wrinkles his nose, sweeps his gaze over the room. hanbin doesn't realize the effects of forgetting to shower for 6 days would be detectable by the boy, so when donghyuks eyes narrow he finds himself tensing. 

"have you been taking care of yourself?" the blond asks, eyes softening. somehow he manages to stare at Hanbin and through Hanbin at the same time. he feels like his soul is being surveyed. donghyuk has a way of making him feel like an exposed nerve that the others don't. not even bobby. he feels himself stiffen. 

"i don't need you to baby me." 

voices he can't hear pull at the strings in his mind. it's like static-- unintelligible, indecipherable, but he knows what the thought means, because it's a kind of trepidation he's felt a hundred times before. 

donghyuk flinches at the sharpness of hanbin's tone. hanbin tries to ignore the pang of satisfaction (fear?) that flickers dully in his chest at the sight. there's something about his power over the other members that keeps him hinged, works as a mechanism to motivate him to keep going. 

it's the same feeling that he fell into for the first time when he walked off stage on show me the money, it's the same feeling he felt when he met YG himself, the feeling when iKon became iKon. 

terror. 

their debut is set for december-- just a half year away. YG says they can push it up if they work hard, though. that's what he's banking on. 

june and jinhwan are polishing their vocals for the (hopefully final) draft of the title track, and once that's done, they can work on the other tracks for the album. 

he's been doing this for 3 years, he can handle a couple more months. they're so close, he just needs to hold on for a bit longer. 

he needs to hold on for a bit longer.


	7. meeting taek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is from a long fic ive eben writing in little bits and pieces, its a lot of effort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a chapter from an AU i made, for a long series i wanted to write
> 
> and got too tired to
> 
> -
> 
> i left my notes in the chapter so you can see how quickly i gave up hahaha
> 
> \--
> 
> \- DARK FANTASY, SOULMATE AU
> 
> Island region divided into four “zones”:  
> \- Aquatic (grassy lush green mountains that dip into a valley filled with stunning reflective water)  
> \- Alpine (zone is masked beyond a layer of fog and sits on the ‘plateau-like’ top of a large mountain)  
> \- Fire - desert, volcanoes, magma etc  
> \- Some say there’s a ‘cloud zone’ of winged ppl who actually have a whole-ass civilization in the clouds  
> \- earth zone - lush trees, rainforest, fields, anything grassy, anything with soil, anywhere that anything can grow
> 
> \- EARTH ZONE: Taekwoon is from this zone. He is the Zone Totem so basically he’s a wolf that oversees the Zone Natives. They say he’s stupid powerful and is able to do stuff like:  
> -Heal flora that has been damaged(like a gashed tree or whatever)  
> -Make flowers grow wherever he steps(he cant actually control this)  
> -He has a human form but he doesn’t shift bc he is misanthropic 
> 
> \--
> 
> Ppl in these climates are biologically adapted to their zones. For example arctic ppl have thick skin and can straight up breathe fire, aquatic ppl have larger lungs and webbed feet and their skin has like this shimmery iridescent quality in the light its super pretty, etc whatever 
> 
> All of them have like chakras running through them that allow them to thrive in their environments – like they all have a magic running through their veins that is strongest when they are stood in their zones 
> 
> In each zone there is a hierarchy. The most powerful beings in them are almost god-like. The air ones can travel across the zone by literally riding lightning bolts. the ones in alpine environments can turn into birds. The less powerful ones can do shit like blow little gusts of wind. The ones in the earth zone literally turn into a group (a group!) of butterflies and skeet skeet their way into the sky
> 
> They are technically allowed to go across borders into other zones but some zones have lil gangs that are super aggressive and unfriendly. For eg the firedwellers are really hotheads(omg plz use this pun) 
> 
> “do you know why Central doesn't want people from separate zones to bond?” jaehwan shook his head. when taekwoon leans forward and whispers in his ear, he says something that sends shivers up his spine. “ill show you.” 
> 
> when two ppl from separate zones bond, they gain each other's powers. ONLY when they're separate zones, because their magic combines. 
> 
> ppl who live in Central went by choice to live normal lives because they didn't want to live in the woods like savages. they use their powers to do mundane things like bake, make little attractions (wind tunnels) etc

~~( before this scene, Jaehwan saw a black wolf. that's all don't make a huge deal out of it )~~

When Jaehwan dreamt, it was always fantastical. He'd been told he had delusions of grandeur since he was a young boy, and this was certainly because his dreams have allowed him to view life through rose-colored spectacles. He didn't just dream, he scripted. Screenplays of romance, mystery and magic traipsed through his mind each night, and he was the protagonist in all of them. 

This was what he loved: the heroism. The flood of endorphins as he saved the city, rescued the damsel in distress, slew the dragon. It was a drug to him-- he got off on the validation. The thousands of people chanting his name, the kisses on the cheek from appreciative beautiful women. The nod of approval from the king: "Lee Jaehwan, thank you for retrieving my daughter! I would like you to marry her." 

But his favorite place to be was not otherworldly. His favorite dreams did not involve time travel or pirate ships or Kafkaesque profoundness. Nor, surprisingly, did they involve flight-- the birthright that had been stripped away from him. Rather, his favorite dreams explored his deepest fears, and drew from his sincerest desires. When he lay in bed counting sheep, he prayed his mind would take him to a stage. 

Jaehwan knew he could sing. When he'd been a freshman, he used to sing for the children in his village. They would collect in his garden and jam out. Perched in the center with a ukulele, he would throw his head back and belt out tunes. The kids would clap their hands to keep a rhythm and shout along to the words they knew. How full Jaehwan's heart felt on those nights-- 

Now he just felt empty. 

His dreams were a respite from the emptiness, however, and he welcomed them with open arms. 

~~(create a stronger link between this part of the story and his wanting to dream about performing)~~

But on this night, curled up under the trees at the base of the mountain, something was different. After falling asleep, Jaehwan found himself stood in the middle of a forest. 

It seemed infinite. Trees surrounded him as far as he could see. Everything was green, brown, mottled. He wandered through it, wondering where this would lead him. Anticipation coursed through him -- his dreams never failed to please. 

He eventually realized there must be flowers in this forest, as he smelled them before he saw them. The floral scent settled upon him like a cool breeze. A line of bushes, at least his height, if not taller, stood in the distance. They toted gorgeous red roses that took on a resplendent quality in the brilliant sunlight. 

Fascinated, Jaehwan floated over to one of the bushes and gently caressed a rose. The soft petals were indeed shimmering, almost like they were dusted in glitter. Jaehwan thought they looked very valuable. When he removed his hands, his fingers were tinged crimson. 

"Do you like it?" He hears a voice and freezes, like he was caught doing something he shouldn't have. He turns around slowly and realizes he can't see anyone. Where was that voice coming from? 

Maybe there was an omnipresent being here. It was a dream, after all. No matter, Jaehwan was good at socializing with all kinds of beings. Disembodied voice, prepare to be befriended. Just as Jaehwan thinks of a witty retort, he's interrupted. 

"Is it a rose?" Another voice. This one was lighter, softer. So no omnipresent being in this dream-- rather, Jaehwan was listening to a conversation. 

"Yes," Comes the response. "My father helped me forge it." 

"It is not as beautiful as the ones that you grow, but then again, nothing is." Jaehwan hears gentle laughter. The sound is like champagne fizzing. By the clarity of the noise, he knows the couple are on the other side of the hedge he's stood by. He carefully leans over the edge of the bush to peek. 

Behind the bushes was a sort of clearing. An alcove of grass, small yet cozy, and encircled by hedges of the same rose bushes.

  
 ~~(make the below paragraph less awkward)~~  
There are two boys sat in the grass, one with long hair. The long haired boy has something in his hands. Squinting, Jaehwan recognizes it to be a tiny sculpture. It shines silver in the sunlight. 

He holds it gently in his fingers, like a baby bird. The boys eyes are full of wonder, and Jaehwan's gaze softens at the innocence. He looks to be young, no older than sixteen or seventeen. He has spindly long legs that he still has to grow into and skin that glowed with youth. 

"This is very kind, Yixing." 

There's a flash of fear on the other ones face, like he's dreading something he has to do. 

Jaehwan watches on with no regard or respect for their privacy, very interested in this fictional scene unfolding before him. 

"I.. I know this is a lot for you to think about-- and I don't expect a response now. But Taekwoon, you've been on my mind so much," 

"So much," The quieter one, apparently named Taekwoon, echoes. His eyes, already notably open, widen with amazement. 

"Yes." Yixing nods, shifting his cross-legged position to more readily face Taekwoon. "I have thought about what this means and I think-- I am sure I have romantic inclinations towards you." 

Wow, Jaehwan thinks. That was a very archaic way of telling someone you wanted to shag. Really puts a damper on the atmosphere of the conversation. 

But Taekwoon obviously thought differently, because when Yixing uttered those words his entire face seemed to light up. 

The long-haired boy picked up his gift and held it close to his chest. Jaehwan watched with a soft gaze as Taekwoon's eyes fluttered closed. 

Young love truly was beautiful. 

As Jaehwan watched, he eventually realized the setting was transforming. He looked on as the field around them sprouted with life. Before his eyes, stems drew themselves up out of the ground, flourishing with leaves. The cycle of birth unfolded, again and again and again. Buds opened, flowers bloomed, and the scene before him became fantastical within moments. It was as if someone was toying with time.

  
~~(grow things)~~

Taekwoon smiles, and when he does, the last thing on Jaehwan's mind is singing. 

Jaehwan had never seen flowers grow that quickly before. Was that normal? Of course they were earth dwellers, but that didn't seem normal even for them. 

~~(he sees Leo get his first kiss and doesn't do anything about it this time but next time it's the exact same garden and he gets heartbroken there and he goes out and talks to him. taekwoon realized the guy was using him for his flowers because everything he grows stays alive so long as he does. and he's like a couple hundred years old lmao)~~

~~when the boy breaks up with taekwoon the trees like grow around him to cage him and it's not even intentional it's just when he's upset this shit happens~~

* * *

This feels familiar. 

Jaehwan is stood in a forest, surrounded by rose bushes and flowers. He immediately recognizes this location as the setting of his last dream. He wonders why his brain forced him back into this location, but at the same time he didn't mind-- he knew what lay behind the bush before him. 

"Sorry I'm late!" A raspy voice rings through the clearing. 

"That's fine, come sit." 

Taekwoon. 

He padded forward to peek around the bush. Hum, interesting. Taekwoon's hair is still black, but the boy has cut it short since his last dream. Has time passed? The boys look older, but the clearing looks the same as before-- the flowers look the same as before. 

Jaehwan watches as Yixing, the other boy, picks his way across the small alcove to sit beside his companion. Jaehwan notes that his previously raven black hair was now blond. 

He feels his eyes widen as the boys lean in and exchange a kiss. He was still confused by this ordeal-- back in the Cloud Zone he'd never seen two men exchange romantic touches in this way. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he wanted to see more. Curiosity kept him pinned to the spot. 

"I missed you," Yixing murmurs lovingly, the depth of his voice causing the air to rumble slightly. Jaehwan notices Taekwoon shiver in pleasure. A few new flowers bloom on the ground beneath the two. 

"As did I." came the tender reply. Taekwoon's soft voice contrasts greatly with Yixing's. Jaehwan thinks he likes Taekwoon's voice better. 

"I brought you something," Jaehwan can't help but smile when he watches Taekwoon try to hide his excitement. 

"Really? Yixing, you should not have." The boy asks, shuffling excitedly in the bed of flowers. 

"Baby, of course I did. It has been a year now." Yixing clasps Taekwoon's hands in his own and places something in them. 

When Taekwoon opens his hands, Jaehwan sees a small piece of paper-- a ticket stub. 

"What's this?" The black-haired boy inspects the paper, trying to understand what he was looking at. 

"It's a train ticket, my love." 

"What for?" Taekwoon's jaw is slightly slack as he looks over at his partner in confusion. His dark eyes are big and shining with curiosity. 

"I want you to come to Central with me." As he says this, Yixing leans in and stares into his eyes with an equally intense gaze. Jaehwan notes the immediate change in Taekwoon's demeanor: shoulders up, leaning back, the slightest grimace on his features. 

Taekwoon clearly did not appreciate the gift. But Jaehwan was confused-- he had thought they were both Earth Zone dwellers, so why did Yixing want to go to Central? 

When Taekwoon doesn't answer, Yixing's enthusiastic smile falters just a little. 

"Come on, it'll be amazing! You, me, my dad, we'll have an awesome time working the shop." 

"Why can't we just stay here?" Taekwoon asks, a sight sharpness to his tone that Jaehwan hadn't heard from him before. Yixing doesn't seem to notice, instead barreling on:

"What can we do here? Baby, the forest is beautiful-- everything you have made is beautiful--" Jaehwan blinks, his lashes fluttering in understanding. So Taekwoon was responsible for all the rose bushes and the beautiful flowers he had seen before. If he was powerful enough to grow such a high volume of flowers in such a short time, he must be of high caste in his zone. 

"We have been in love for almost two years now, it's time we live together. Plus, you would be so helpful around the shop. Imagine the money we'd make!"

"I don't care about money. Why do you?" Taekwoon is definitely on edge now, bristling slightly at what Yixing has said. Jaehwan doesn't blame him. 

"Baby, please." Yixing's facial features have become strained with exasperation, as if he could not fathom Taekwoon's hesitance. "We could achieve great things with your powers. Flowers that never die: do you know how much money people are willing to pay for such a thing? When the climate in Central makes flower growth almost impossible? It is an incredibly lucrative endeavor." 

As Yixing speaks, Jaehwan feels something on his feet. When he looks down, he notices black vines growing along them, spiraling towards the center of the alcove. They are growing noticeably fast, as if cheating time. Looking around the perimeter of the alcove, he sees the vines are crawling towards the pair from all sides. Jaehwan looks towards them, then, when he's sure they can't see -- kicks the vines away. 

"You want me to help you make money?" Taekwoon echoes, his voice thick with disbelief. He's speaking a little bit louder than usual. 

"Us, Taek. Us! Not just me. We could live like kings. Just think how happy you'd be.." the blond reaches out to cup Taekwoon's cheeks, but he leans away to avoid his grasp, giving the blond a blank gaze out of the corner of his eyes as he turns his head away. "Please think about it." 

Taekwoon stares at the ticket in his hand for a moment. Yixing looks towards him hopefully, eyes sparkling. Taekwoon closes his eyes. Jaehwan's jaw drops when he watches a sparkling red rose grow in his palm, tearing through the ticket as it does so. 

"I'm not leaving the forest." 

Yixing's expression sours severely. Clearly this boy is not being used to being told no. 

"Well, I did not want to say this, but my father has been speaking to the President and they have plans to harvest the forest. The plants, the flowers, all of it. They agreed to halt on these plans if I brought you back with me, but they WILL destroy this place if you stay." Yixing has a dark expression on his face, but Jaehwan thinks he looks proud, as if he had the cards in his hands. Perhaps Jaehwan had judged the situation wrongly -- perhaps this was not love between them at all. 

Taekwoon draws himself up and stares darkly at Yixing. After a few moments of scrutiny, Jaehwan wonders if he plans on speaking. He can tell Yixing feels similarly by the way that he shifts his weight uncomfortably. When Taekwoon does speak, it's so quiet Jaehwan can barely hear it. 

"Leave." 

"What do you mean? They will tear this place apart if you do not come back with me." 

Jaehwan watches silently as the vines continue to creep towards them. He could practically feel Taekwoon's pain from here. 

"The only reason anyone would know about this forest is because you told them about it. The only reason they would want me to come back is because you told them I am a Zone Totem." 

Jaehwan's eyes widen. A Zone Totem, before his eyes.

Of course he was a zone totem-- who else would be so powerful? He was literally able to create life. He looks down at the vines by his feet, curling like wyverns, and wonders -- 

_Could he also take it away?_

Yixing turns his chin up towards Taekwoon, defiantly. 

"Doesn't change the fact that I wanted to protect you." 

"No. You were greedy. You want to benefit from my creations." Taekwoon looks down at the flowers growing around them, and if he sees the vines headed directly towards Yixing's legs, he doesn't acknowledge it. 

"You have been playing me this whole time." When Taekwoon looks up again, Jaehwan nearly yelps -- his face is shining with tears. But his voice is strong. 

Jaehwan thinks back to the last dream -- the rose figurine. Had Yixing already told those in Central that he knew of one of the last remaining Zone Totems? Perhaps the very last one? He looks back at the man's face, trying to read it. When he sees genuine pain on Yixing's face, he wonders if things are as simple as they are seeming. 

"Baby, that's not--"

"I have told you to leave." Taekwoon interrupts, and there's a layer there, ann extra dimension in his voice that makes Jaehwan shiver. He feels threatened on the sidelines, he can't even imagine how Yixing must feel. 

Then, Jaehwan hears Yixing yelp, and he realizes that the vines have finally taken hold on him. They wrap around his shins like a charcoal vice, serpentine in their constiction. 

"You will not like what happens if you stay." 

Taekwoon says that as if Yixing has an option, as if the vines aren't crawling up Yixing's thighs like a dozen black and bronze snakes. 

"You used me. Did you ever even love me?" 

The vines slither up his torso, strong enough to lift his feet off the ground as they grow to cover his entire body, dangling him like a corpse in a cocoon. 

"T-taekwoon..." Yixing whimpers, his voice being stolen as the most beautiful noose Jaehwan has ever seen wraps around his neck. Something pricks Jaehwan's ankle beneath him, and he looks to see the very same vines that connect him to the situation in the center of the alcove are sprouting tiny thorns, glistening red like a dozen dying stars. When he flinches away, the wound, though shallow, gushes blood. 

"This was everything for me. I would have given up my power for you. But this was nothing -- I was nothing to you." 

Jaehwan, panicked and afraid of what will happen if the thorns reach Yixing, looks to Taekwoon to stop the growth, but the younger boy is staring into the distance with glazed eyes. 

"Taek.." Yixing's voice is weakening now. There are tears stinging the boy's eyes, iridescent enough that Jaehwan can even see them from his recluse. 

Jaehwan watches thorns sprout up the length of the vines, getting closer and closer to the ends which were wrapped around Yixing. The thorns by his legs are now as long as his hands, still growing even as the others erupt. If the thorns reached Yixing, dug too far into his constricted legs, there was no way he would ever be able to walk again. 

Maybe he wouldn't even be able to breathe again. 

When he refocuses to look at Yixing, Taekwoon finally process what's happening, just as the first few small thorns pierce into his ankles. 

Blood red as roses drips to the earth. 

Jaehwan expects Taekwoon to flinch, to undo the changes in environment that his emotions have triggered in the forest. But he doesn't. Instead, he takes a moment to analyze Yixing, even as the thorns grow as far up his legs as his shins. Taekwoon tilts his head, just slightly -- shining eyes quizzical as he analyzes the situation he's created unintentionally. 

The vines continue to sprout thorns, moving up his calves to almost his knees. 

One look at Yixing is enough for Jaehwan to know they're thinking the same thing: 

Is Taekwoon going to kill him? 

Then without warning, the vines drop dead. The Zone Totem does not move or react, stone still as they are carried away through the wind as dust. Yixing is deposited onto the ground unceremoniously, a bloody, black and blue ragdoll. His legs look like a sponge, there are so many holes and punctures in them. His calves gush crimson, but his blood doesn't stain the grass atop which he's fallen - it simply rolls off the leaves and sinks into the soil, leaving the plant immaculate. 

Jaehwan's sure this is when the interaction should end, but it doesn't. His spine shifts unnaturally under his skin as he watches Taekwoon gather himself up and rise over the other boy like a snake about to strike. 

It's at that moment Jaehwan realizes how big Taekwoon is, how powerful he must be. The boy, by now a man, has incredibly broad shoulders that remind the Cloud Dweller of a warship. With a build as strong and imposing as a weapon, of course Taekwoon is a Zone Totem. 

Yixing stares back coldly, defiant even on his hands and knees, but if Jaehwan is afraid in this situation as an omniscient observer, he's sure Yixing must be terrified behind his steely gaze.

Taekwoon stares into Yixing's eyes with a ferocity Jaehwan never thought he would see from the boy. His hair is wild, spiralling out like tendrils of darkness from his head. He looks like a miracle. 

"Leave." 

It takes no further encouragement for Yixing to high tail it, moving so fast to flee that he nearly trips over his own legs as he runs. After a few seconds, a gentle trail of scarlet is the only evidence of his existence. 

Jaehwan looks after the boy as he runs away, his jaw slightly agape at the man's ability to run so quickly despite the injuries on his legs. 

Suddenly, he hears a thump, and his gaze snaps to the middle of the clearing. 

Taekwoon is on his hands and knees, his chest heaving like he's just been flogged. The boy isn't just shaking, he's jerking, his body wreaking with shudders of all-consuming emotion. 

Jaehwan knows what's happening, because Jaehwan knows what it's like to be broken. His eyes shine with concern as he watches Taekwoon's soul slip. 

Should he intervene? 

But before he can, a guttural sound pierces the air. Something wild, something feral, something WOUNDED rips through his head from ear to ear and reverberates through him like the echo of the dead. 

He looks up just in time to see Taekwoon screeching at the stars. 

* * *

“This always happens.” Hyuk’s body shudders with laughter. Jaehwan can’t help but note the stiff quality of the movement, like his joints were connected wrong. 

He paces back and forth, eyes glazed. Jaehwan and Hakyeon watch on in trepidation. 

“This always fucking happens.” He freezes mid-step. 

Hyuk then rolls his shoulders, tipping his head up to the sky. Jaehwan watches silently as the skin on the rock-boy’s back pulls against his skeleton. The sound of his bones cracking as he stretches makes him uneasy. 

“My family have never given a fuck about me. Never! I’m not even a little surprised this happened. Since I was a little kid they’ve hidden so much from me—” As he speaks, his voice becomes more high-pitched, more frantic. Hakyeon and Jaehwan exchange uneasy glances. 

The slightly braver of the two, Hakyeon gets up from the rock he’s sat on to try to calm him down. 

“Hyuk—” He makes to grab his arm and pulls back with a yelp, nursing his hand. 

Jaehwan leaps to his feet and rushes over to Hakyeon. When he gently grabs him by the wrist and turns his hand over, Jaehwan lets out a gasp, because the elder man’s palm is bright red and smoking slightly. 

Hyuk’s skin was scalding hot. Soft curls of steam billowed off his body. But he didn’t seem to notice, still pacing. Jaehwan sucked in a breath. 

Something was wrong here. 

“They never told me anything. I thought everything was fine, I thought we were so happy. After I grew up I realized the truth. My parents never wanted to be together. They never wanted kids—never wanted _me_. But guess what? I never wanted to be born either!” The rock-dweller turns to face them, making eye contact for the first time since he’s begun to pace. Jaehwan and Hakyeon both shudder at the sight. 

Black lines, some thin, some thick, ran haphazardly across Hyuk’s face. It divided it up into odd-shaped sections. Jaehwan wondered what they were, and as he leaned in closer, he saw that his skin had taken a very gritty, dry texture. Hakyeon must have realized what was going on as well, because they turned to each other at the same time. 

Hyuk’s face was cracking. 

“Who would want to live my life? My parents… my own parents… they abandoned me. After a lifetime of pretending they loved me.” He laughs again. 

Hyuk lifts an arm to wipe away tears, and the pair’s eyes widen when they see a small cloud of dust fall from his face. His arm was now also patterned with black little lines. Hakyeon gets to his feet, tries to speak to him. 

“Hyuk, you should really calm down—" 

“They left me for dead. That’s not even an exaggeration— I literally woke up and they weren’t in the cave anymore. _Everything_ was gone! Am I **that** useless? That worthless? They left their own **SON** —” Hyuk held his own hands in front of his face and stared into them, as if he were trying to find answers. The cracks were splitting, widening. 

“F-for dead.” He hiccupped. “I’m their son! They were all I had, and they **left** me." His voice breaks at the end, and the pace of his speech began to slow as he exchanged words for sobs. For all the fear he was feeling, Jaehwan felt genuine hurt for how small and scared Hyuk sounded. 

The cracks in his skin begun to glow, emitting a pale yellow light. They were almost pulsating it’s way to blinding brightness. Jaehwan heard Hakyeon whimper beside him, and when he turned to look at him, he felt his heart drop at the sight. 

Judging by Hakyeon’s twisted grimace, he had clearly seen something like this happen before. 

Tears dripped down Hyuk’s face, mixing with the sand of his skin and dripping muddy onto the rock beneath his feet. Jaehwan didn’t understand what was going on and his mind began to reel as Hyuk began to unravel before them. 

“They were all I had,” he repeats, his voice by now almost a scream. “I have nothing now! I’m alone.” 

The light was stronger now, so strong Jaehwan found himself squinting. They could feel the igneous rock beneath them begin to rumble, and they realized Hyuk’s body was vibrating. 

“I’m alone. I’m ALONE! I can’t— I— I—" Their jaws dropped as two small pins of light shot out of Hyuk’s eyes. These expanded in diameter to take up his entire eye sockets, pouring out of him like blood, like tears. The light from his body was blindingly bright. The boy collapsed to his knees and let out a scream that hollowed Jaehwan’s soul. 

Light fought its way through Hyuk’s body and split him apart at the seams. The blast caused by his body ripping apart shook the earth beneath them, like God Himself had pounded against it. Jaehwan and Hakyeon watched in horror as their new friend disintegrated before their eyes in a flash of brilliant light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--
> 
> \- Mythical beasts are collected and civilized as an display of ostentatious extravagance. So its not uncommon to see, like, dragons, gryphons, unicorns (but not the gay kind the carnivorous bloodthirsty kind), sphynxes, centaurs. It’s a typical fantasy world but everything is dark. 
> 
> \- The rich collect dragons and unicorns but it’s culturally expected for each family to have a ‘pet’ mythical creature but the middle class family companions are, like… owls and shit.
> 
> \- taekwoon chooses to shift into a wolf and its been so many hundred years that hes now forgotten how to shift back or lost his magic or whatevr
> 
> \- Taekwoon can still use his magic however so as he falls in love with Jaehwan he enters his dreams as a human and fabricates a beautiful world for them. his magic is basically just ‘brain stuff’ so he can telepathically communicate with other beings but otherwise naaaa he just stuck as a wolf. 
> 
> \- In his dreams the mysterious man always gives Jaehwan red roses. Red roses, red roses… 
> 
> \- One chapter Jaehwan comes home and taekwoon is just straight up throwing up blood and when Jaehwan realizes its not JUST blood he goes to inspect it and it’s just a shit-ton of red rose petals. 
> 
> \- When Jaehwan realizes that taekwoon is the wolf he realizes and the wolf basically explodes and taekwoon is just kind of a little curled up mess in a puddle of rose petals and dog hair 
> 
> \- Taekwoon in his dreams is very observant and almost omnipotent— urns out they’re soulmates and taek KNEW and while trying to devise a spell to bring them together he accidentally turned himself into a wolf 
> 
> \- During his travels he meets Hakyeon and Wonshik, both professional dancers. Theyre both also proficient spellcasters and they use that shit in their act like they incarnate people of fire and water and dance with them and the light of the fire shines into the water and refracts and the whole room is covered in rainbows and in the finale Wonshik and hakyeon turn into each other and touch and their water/fire people touch too and the dance ends with them surrounded by huge plumes of steam 
> 
> \- hyuk is a chatty high schooler run away from home who still has the vitality of youth running through his veins.


End file.
